Honoring the feeling of powerlessness

Dear you,

Today I'm pushed to write about one of those uncomfortable energies : the feeling of powerlessness.

I'm not talking about situations where your safety is endangered here, but about this state of self or externally imposed stop. Unless you've already made it one of your best friends, maybe you'll agree that when it comes up, the automatic response is to try and minimise it or burry it under layers of counter-energies in order to find a solution and keep on going. Trying by all means to control a situation and its outcome...

Let's pause here. Let's listen to our bodies. Reading those first lines, how are you feeling ?

By me it starts with an instant heaviness in the legs. Shoulders and jaw drop with a sigh. Then two contradictory impulses : either laying down on the ground and spending some time with discouragement and sadness ; or contracting my entire body, well standing with engaged fists with anger and feeling of injustice.

This is all nervous system and brain matter. But it's not where I want to go today.

It matters to me to put it into the light because I recently noticed that it's some kind of omnipresence that is quite difficult to really approach. I observe the pressure imposed by our global rhythm, which requires performing, efficiency, action, speed et other expressions that absolutely have to be visible and provable. I see the big system that traps many people in a survival overload. I feel the anxiety-driving and violent context. I witness deep individual transformations, resurgences of traumatic pasts, heritages on the verge of exploding that make us time bombs... Wether you are directly concerned or feeling spared lately, this energy is present in your field because it's everywhere.

That's a lot. Often too much for our microsystems.

Maybe you'll tell me : "but it's opposite is around too !"

Indeed. I marvel just as much at the blooming of so many projects, tools, new possibilities that support us and bring ease to the intense movements that shake us all one way or another.

Only, my belief and experience show me that if we don't honor shadows as much as light, the balance that is needed for the flow to circulate is impossible. A heavyness starts to settle more and more invasively in our personal and collective spaces. In some cases, it's well visible ; in others, it hides, insidiously operating in the background. And life energy leaks a little more every day.

So what do I mean by "honoring the feeling of powerlessness" ?

Creating a dedicated time-space, alone or in the presence of a trustworthy witness who knows how to watch, peacefully.

Naming it.

I feel powerless in the face of the illness the one I love is struggling with.

I feel powerless in the face of the impossibility to make my dream comme true.

I feel powerless in the face of the atrocities that are committed every day in the world and in the building accross the street behind closed doors...

With breath, pauses, listening.

It is then that it reveals itself and a connexion becomes possible.

I'm not alone anymore, having to carry it all on my own, to find a solution, to keep going with a smile. Because in this space there's nothing I have to do and it's ok.

It becomes a shelter that welcomes all I have to drop off. Discouragement, grief, rage, fear... it takes it all. And believe me, I meet it often (there are transgenerational traces here, but that too I'll tackle in a future post). Never would I have imagined to say it that way : connecting with it feels good to me. It's a relief. I regularly observe that it's only after I've seen it in my own reflection, felt it in my bodies, that I recover a form of mobility.

As for everything, there's a right timing to honor it. Only you know when and for how long. As long as you feel the relief, you know it's good. When it drains you to the point you collapse more and more, then it's your cue. It's time to send it back to its seat at the table of your inner colours, and contact the next one. The one that will give you the clues to inspire your next step nonetheless.

Honoring it is acknowledging what is. It's both a courageous and liberating act. Surrendering to vulnerability, in full humility. Touching the sensation of having no control whatsoever. Because life is constantly breathing through us and we're doing our best to follow !

Embracing it, is meeting its power. It's being alive and how beautiful it is ! Because as any emotional colour, it is the guardian of an immense reserve of energy.

So if this all speaks to you, follow me ! I invite you to a practice which, I hope, will offer you a breath of fresh air for now and all the times you'll find yourself trapped in the loops that this feeling of powerlessness induces in you.

Sit comfortably, take deep breaths with me.

Connect to your body. Let's pay it a visit...

From my solitude to yours. Together.

© Erik Johansson, "Impossible escape"

Practice to honor the feeling of powerlessness (15' minimum)

The aim of this kind of practice is to develop a relationship with the energies that move through us (they don't define us !) and a kind of agency in this matter that wasn't generally taught to us. It's not about finding a solution or faking a "feeling better" afterwards. It's a way to support the circulation of the energy that helps us move forwards. This is one step in a bigger cycle.

Once again, it's not an exercise to be applied to a traumatic situation (in that case, it's important that you find professionnal help from someone you trust). It's more of a daily hygiene.

You can practice on your own or with a trustworthy witness, who knows how to watch, peacefully.

You decide the level of your engagement in the process, between a toe dip and a full immersion in your depths. You also define how much time you want to dedicate to it. I personnaly find that 15' minimum is a good reference.

As always, come back to your breath and your physical sensations regularly.

1. Set up your space : make sure you won't be interrupted, make space so that you have room to move and/or lay down, add a personal detail that symbolises the preciousness of this moment (candle, talisman, nature elements, music, incense...) and any prop that contributes to your comfort (pillow, blanket...)

   
   

2. Land within : choose a posture that feels most supportive of your connection to your body and sensations (standing, seating, laying down), take a few deep breaths, then allow your breathing to find its natural rhythm. Scan your bodies :

   What are the sensations in your physical body ? Any tension ? Where exactly ? Any comfortable areas ? Which ones ?

   How's your global energy level ? Do you feel tired or in great shape ?

   Any emotions in you ?

   How's the flow of your thoughts ?

   
   

3. Approach the feeling of powerlessness : call in a memory or the present situation that gives rise to it in you. Start naming it : "I feel powerless in the face of...". Other ways of voicing it, if they arise, are welcome : "I don't know what to do about... / I feel stuck in..." Imagine that you're confinding in a person you trust, who isn't trying to distract you away from your concerns or find solutions for you, but rather is receiving without comment and validating all you are expressing.

   
   

4. Let your physical body speak : change posture, allow movements and sounds to emerge without thinking. Remember to regularly add breath to the process and come back to the physical expressions, away from stories and meaning seeking. This is the step where energy can circulate in you. Until you feel it's enough for now and you can come back to stillness, in the same posture you started with or a different one.

   
   

5. Transition smoothly to the rest of your day : give yourself some more deep breaths, with longer exhales. Go back to the scanning process of point 2. Find a posture that gives you comfort and love (give yourself a hug, lay your hands on the parts of your body that are asking for it, wrap yourself in the blanket, stand with raised fists, applaud yourself...). You might want to add thanks, a prayer, a gratitude invocation. Then come back to your environment, give it back its usual set up. Remember the date and time. And go back to your day.

You can extend your practice with my dedicated mix. Also journal or lay colours on a paper.

You might need some support in this process. You'll find offers that can help you on my guidance page.

Keep a curious eye on where the energy takes you afterwards...